Wake Up
by Punk-Out
Summary: I believe that you are, A stupid, B delusional, or C on some sort of crazy drug, and if that's the case, then I advise you to, in the future, steer very, very clear of it." Sasori and Deidara run into an interferrance in the forest. SD Mary Sue bashin


**Wake Up**

_**Rating:**_ M/R

_**Pairings:**_ SasoDei, attempted DeixOC, SasoxOC and ACxOC (**A**nonymous **C**haracter)

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own Naruto, Sasori, Deidara, or the general Mary-Sue bashing idea, though I do rather enjoy it. This, _particular_, idea was derived from the summery of a Mary-Sue fic. Mari Suen is mine though.

_**Warnings:**_ This story contains Mary Sue bashing, yaoi, and sexual activities taking place between two men. Meaning homosexuality. For those of you who are too young to be view such material, or are too immature, please leave. For those of you who _are_ mature enough, I hope this is as entertaining to read as it was to write.

**x.x.x**

Deidara bounced from tree to tree, enjoying the feeling of wind sweeping through his hair. Ahead of him, Sasori weaved Hiruko through the branches, flawlessly controlling his creation. Weak sunlight drifted through the canopy, leaves rustling as small tree dwelling animals and birds hopped about. Bugs flew past him, tumbling through the air as he moved past. Looking down, he did a quick check of the ground, glad to see nothing but foliage and creatures scurrying about on the forest floor. Satsified, he pushed a burst of Chakra into his feet, hastening his pace to catch up with his Danna.

"Sasori no Danna! Wait up, un!"

Sasori tossed a casual look at the blond teen hurrying after him, and smirked, eyes narrowing even as Hiruko's stayed calm and aloof. Manipulating his chakra, he also sped up, allowing his quarry to get a meter behind him, then draw ahead when a pale hand wandered down to the pouch on his waist, each time staying out of Deidara's reach. He heard Deidara huff behind him and felt the boost of power, then felt his puppet shift, his partner making a purposely loud 'thump' when his feet touched Hiruko's back.

"You'll have to do better than that, brat," he said clearly, fingers rapping against the top of his hideaway.

Returning his attention to their path, his scanned the ground, just to double check that there was no one following them, so they wouldn't be disturbed by any unwanted arrivals. Seeing nothing, he grinned, anticipation welling inside him, and jerked the chakra strings he used, telling Hiruko to take them to the ground. Deidara squeaked at the unexpected move, fingers clenching the puppets large cloak, hair raising around his head and trailing behind as they went down, landing with a heavy 'whoomp' and a cloud of dust. Before he knew what was happening, Sasori was out of his husk, fingers weaving through bright strands and jerking his small partner down, tossing him carelessly to the ground to attack his mouth and pull relentlessly at his cloak. Deidara moaned enthusiastically, arching his back so he rubbed against the older man.

Sasori casually pulled out the cable from the compartment in his stomach, wrapping the metal cord around his hand and using the other one to pull off Deidara's shirt, moving his lips from his mouth to his neck, biting down hard enough to bleed, then soothing the wound with his tongue. Deidara gasped and writhed, muscles in his torso tensing as his breath trembled up his throat and out his mouth. The mouths on his hands opened, their tongues lolling out to wet the black fabric of the shirt Sasori wore beneath his cloak.

When Deidara felt sharp nails sliding down his sides, he tore off Sasori's shirt and carelessly tossed it away, barely hearing it catch on some bushes, leaves rustling. Wrapping his legs around the redhead and pressing them chest to chest, he could feel the beating of Sasori's heart through the canister it was kept in, closing his eyes at the sensation of it against his skin. He could feel the smirk curve on his lovers lips against his shoulder as the wooden hands slipped down the back of his pants, fingers pressing playfully against and inside him. He bit his lip, quivering and shaking, half naked and pressed against his master. The only one that mattered...

They both froze, though, when a soft groan from their right penetrated their lustful haze, Sasori jerking his body forward, his hips pressing against Deidara's, whose hit the ground and drove Sasori's finger deeper inside. The blond gasped, hips jerking up, panting heavily, his breath washing against Sasori's neck though it offered no sensation.

The puppeteer growled lowly, brown eyes narrowing when another soft moan made itself heard. Extracing his parts from his young partner and unwinding the coil from around his hand, he stalking in the direction of the noise, vaguely proccessing that the exuberant artist behind him was doing the same.

Curling tips of painfully bright pink hair peaked out from under the bush that Sasori's shirt had caught on, part of the fabric sticking out against the light-ish green leaves on the top of the bush. The strands shifted and recoiled as whatever it was moved, brushing up against the leaves, rattling them. Sasori violently shoved the bush apart, his shirt falling to the ground, tearing the feeble wood apart easily, looking into dazed and confused red eyes. Deidara twitched at the color combination, reminded sickly of Valentines day. Sasori's chest and shoulders heaved in frustration. Then, he drew in a deep, calming breath and reached back, slowly drawing out a kunai from the pouch on his waist.

The girl rubbed her eyes and sat up straighter, looking from the redhead to the blond, clarity slowly filling her. Deidara noted that the headband tied around her neck stated that she was an Iwa nin, but he sincerely doubted she was any good. Her clothes were too bright and if she was knocked out this easily and left lying on the forest floor, then there was no way that she posed any real threat. Her headband was pristine and untouched, no score through it to indicate she was a missing nin. The only wounds she seemed to retain was a small cut on the top of a small, swelling goose egg on her temple.

"Who-who are you?" she asked softly, her head tilted to one side, long hair cascading down her back, in awe and completely ignoring the glinting blade held in the puppets hand. Deidara stared blandly back, blinking twice then resting his chin on Sasori's shoulder and continuing to watch. After a moment, he spoke, voice blank and emotionless.

"Why should we tell you, un?"

She gasped, one hand raising to press her fingers to his mouth.

"Because you saved me!" she cried, shifting to her knees, her tight top clinging to her perfect figure. "I would've surely perished if you hadn't come to my aid! Oh, you must've seen me lying here and felt such compassion and love swell in your hearts! But there is only room for one, in my own. Such pity I feel, such resentment-"

"Shut up, wench," Sasori growled. "If anything, I am here to gut you, turn you into a puppet, then allow the brat to use you for target pratice."

"Oh, but you cannot!" she whimpered, fisting her hands and holding them to her chest, opposite side of her heart. "I am Mari Suen! Heir of the Suen clan and master of out bloodline limit! Such beauty and power, the longest and most powerful clan in Iwa! No one has been able to rival our strength! Ever!" Suddenly, big, fat tears welled in her eyes and she turned her head, as if to hide them. "But alas, I was being forced to marry another heir, one who is the last of his clan, so he would be able to rebuild it and join our clans. I did not wish to marry him, no matter how hansdome and in love he was with me, so I ran away. And look! Here, in this lonely forest, I met my loves! Only room for one, but I cannot decide!" **(1)**

Sasori glanced back at his lover, who was squinting at her, tilting his head to one side, then the other, silently wondering if this chick was insane or not (he, and Sasori, were betting on insanity, but hey, you never know, she could be under a jutsu).

"I lived in Iwa. If your family is as powerful and old as you say, then surely I would've heard of such a refined family, which I have not, un. Therefore, I believe that you are, A) stupid, B) delusional, or C) on some sort of crazy drug, and if that's the case, then I advise you to, in the future, steer very, _very_ clear of it," Deidara said dully, finally allowing his head to rest in the crook of his Danna's neck.

"No, you don't understand! I'm an anbu in my village, the best candidate for the next Tsuchikage! I'm the best warrior in our village! The strongest! Surely that must mean _something_ to you! You're supposed to lust after me, to love me!" She thrust her chest forward in a feeble attempt to draw one of their attention to what was (just barely) there.

Sasori was unamused.

"First of all," he spat, once more raising his weapon from where he'd let his arm fall. "I do not like pink. It clashes horribly with my hair and is plain disgusting. Secondly, the combination of your hair color and your eyes are an unpleasant reminicent of Febuary 14th, and neither me now the blond like it-"

"Well," Deidara cut in dispassionately, "I like the chocolate...un."

"Shut up, brat."

"Sorry."

"As I was saying," Sasori continued after a short moment of silence. "Neither me nor the blond like it, so that part's shot to hell. And if you were a nin that was even the slightest bit worthy, you'd have been killed by whoever assaulted you."

"But-but..." Mari tried to protest, wringing the short flap of her light lavender skirt in her hands, purposely spreading his knees and lifting it so they could get a clear view of her underwear the darker purple bandages wrapped around her thights to an inch above her knees in a faux show of modesty. "I'm an Iwa nin! An Anbu! If someone assaulted me, of course they'd want to kill me! And I know that you're part of the Akatsuki, and I know all of your dasterdly plans to take over the world using the Jinchuriki, so that should mean that you would want to kidnap me and take me away to your hideout!"

Deidara's face was bored, eyes drifting shut as he listened to his lover cruelly shoot down the moronic woman in front of them. But something she said...

"Wait, _if_ someone assaulted you, un? That means that... you knocked yourself out somehow?" he asked sleepily, a heavy lidded blue eyes staring at her. The woman blushed, the bright cherry red clashing horribly with the pink bangs that were swept across her face to the right, a single lock cover a small amount of space in front of her ear. "And why the hell would do that and risk you getting away and leaking to the world what we plan to do, un? That's stupid and illogical. Not to mention suicidal and if I had a deathwish, trust me, it _wouldn't_ involve getting mobbed by a bunch of angry ninja's out for blood, un."

Sasori blinked, then lazily flicked the kunai at her without warning, sick of her blabbering, lodging it between her eyes, and watching with great gratification as the body toppled backwards, hitting the grounds with a 'thump'. Deidara sighed contentedly, snuggling into the older mans neck. Sasori turned his body, hands gripping the younger artists waist, his anticipation welling up once more.

"Now," he murmured darkly, grabbing the blonds chin and smashing their lips together, free hand resuming its former actions in the seat of Deidara's pants. "Where were we?"

**x.x.x**

There we be, all done. Short and, well, pointless, but what the hell, I did it for the fuck of it. I thoroughly enjoyed it, too. It gave me great satisfaction, even if it _didn't_ turn out exactly how I wanted... Ah well, I got in the semi-smut and murder of Mari Suen, so I'm happy with it. If you find any errors, then please tell me, because I'll want to got through and fix them! I'll give you puppydog eyes if you don't pouts. Anyways, please review if you have to time to! :)

**1:** Uchiha Sasuke, who is very much in _hate_ with our hallucinating female. He despised her and decided that when she got back he was going to skin her for capturing him and tying him up, cut her into long, thin strips, and then string her throught the village. After that he'd go home and lust after Naruto. But he might not get him because there's a loooooong list of guys lined up for him, and depending on how I'm feeling, Sasuke'll probably be at the bottom of it.


End file.
